In Case of Emergency, Grow Beard Shirt (by Wondermark)

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QUICK! The alarm is going off. Problems are mounting. People are shouting, tearing their hair, gnashing their teeth. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Easy. GROW A BEARD. That will take care of EVERYTHING.

This striking shirt will let everyone within beard-growing distance know that you understand the true, decisive steps that must be taken in case of dire events. You will be doing your part to spread the word of emergency preparedness to everyone in follicular range. YOU ARE A HERO.